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Protect Snotty Celebrities in New iOS Game The Bodyguard

You can imagine our incredible sadness upon hearing the news that this game would not, in fact, feature Kevin Costner as a playable character. Also, apparently the 90s were too long ago for them to include Whitney Houston as one of the celebrities your burly avatar must protect. No, this game has nothing to do with the film of the same name, but The Bodyguard still looks very entertaining nonetheless.
Developed for the iPhone and iPad, The Bodyguard tasks the player with controlling a beefcake personal security expert to ward off paparazzi, over-zealous fans, and those pesky protestors from PEsTA (the game’s version of PETA.) The celebrities you’ll be working for are based on real-life pop stars and teen sensations. They can’t use the real names of the celebrities, but it’s not too tough to figure out who Rustin Beaver, Lady BlaBla, and Count Edvard are meant to represent.
You’ll have to manage the crowd and make sure that your celebrity doesn’t get too stressed out. The Bodyguard is heading towards an April 28 release. Which should be enough time for developer Bravo Game Studios to draw up a Kevin Costner avatar skin for an in-app purchase if they read this plea. They could even use one of the fake monikers they’re so fond of. We suggest: Dull Burham, Tevin Kostner, or perhaps even his character’s name from the film, Frank Farmer.